Life is kicking my ass!

Sorry for the lack of correspondence.

The quick update:
I have a phone. I have a car. I am busy as hell. I still have no money.

The more detailed but not quite long-winded update:
School is kicking my ass. I have no time to breathe, let alone teach my children. With about a million administrative tasks, piles of paperwork, committees and organizations (I run Student Council and thus the school store, I work an afterschool program... AND I sit in on an intervention team 2 mornings a week), blockhead colleagues, and a 30 minute commute that is eating up more gas than I ever imagined a car could go through.... and 30 7 year olds chasing me down... it's a wonder they even leave school every day with smiles and a little more knowledge.

And it's no wonder that I am connected to a stupid heart monitor. Yes. For a month. They want to figure out exactly what causes me to get dizzy. (Kyle, another second grade teacher, says it's because I'm blonde.) The doctor said it's either a drop in heart rate or in blood pressure, he thinks. But it could also be the condition I have but he needs to see exactly what it looks like on an EKG when I have symptoms. Some people with my condition have their hearts stop for a couple of seconds before they kick back in; some people don't. Worst case scenario (and highly unlikely): pacemaker.

It's pretty annoying because people ask what it is and then they act as if I'm weak or something. It scares people when they know what it is, especially when it's on someone who looks healthy. I maintain that I am healthy! I could tell everyone it is an IPOD, but I prefer to tell them I'm a robot and it's my battery.

December 6th I get to go back to the cardiologist so he can take an ultrasound of my heart and see if everything is where it is supposed to be. I told him it's been broken before, but it tends to repair itself well. (He didn't seem to appreciate the humor)

But honestly I think I'm having more dizzy spells recently and I don't know if it is stress over work or over the fact that I have wires hanging off my chest and a thing beeping at me sometimes before I even get dizzy or a combination of it all but it feels pretty shitty. On the bright side, at least it is collecting lots of data and my doctor will realize that really there is nothing to worry about because I am aware of it and I keep it in check.

The boy is still here... I don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon and I'm okay with that. But of course he takes everything one day at a time and doesn't want to "solidify" anything... and he looks at things (relationships, friendships, life in general) so differently than I do. And I don't think he quite knows what he wants out of this but he does want to take me to Venezuela next year and he has talked about going back to New England next summer to eat lobster. Boys are so confusing.