i think i killed it.

My class pet frog (Snoopy, or Snoop Froggy-Frog) died. I think. His cage has a lot of foliage, and all I can see is his butt and legs. He's not moving. I poured water on him and he's not moving.

I know it's because my apartment is so damn cold. Cold enough that sometimes I can't move my fingers. I brought him home for winter break so I'd be able to feed him and keep his water full... and I hadn't brought him back to school yet because it has been a million degrees below zero - much too cold to bring him outside for a long car ride in an old civic with a faulty heater. If only I'd known he was unsafe in his own home!

I feel so bad. I was traumatized in 9th grade when I had to kill a frog to dissect it, and now those yucky memories are flooding back. I have to go out and buy some rubber gloves so I can dispose of him properly - but without actually touching dead.

I called the boy last night (he's in Miami) and first he gave me a hard time - he's really sensitive about things like that. A couple years ago my pet beta (fish) died because my apartment was too cold. He was so sad and wanted me to give Count Olaf a proper burial. It was January.
Anyhow. I was upset because I didn't want to deal with it and he told me I should just take the cage and pour it in the dumpster. (The cage is really heavy and awkward. 30 gallon hexagon.) He was bothering me to do it then and there and just get it over with. It was dark and so cold outside... I just couldn't face it. My response: He'll still be dead tomorrow. The boy thought that was just about the funniest thing he had ever heard. Well now it's tomorrow and I still don't want to face it. I've walked by the cage twice and haven't dared look in. I'm sure his butt and legs are still in the same place. And I'm sure the crickets are relieved.

I wish he were here to do it for me. Why do boys have to be out of town when we need them??